*I want to post a TRIGGER WARNING that this post, and the subsequent parts will detail infertility issues, death, preterm birth, hospital/medical bias, and other subjects that might be triggering for some. There will also be pictures of premature infants which (from personal experience) can be triggering. I will post this at the beginning of each part. *
Before I ever tried to conceive I had done research on different birthing techniques, and providers. I had toured (online) birth centers, and had an idea of what center I wanted to go to. I discussed with my partner that I would most likely not go the "usual" route of doctors and hospitals because pregnancy is not an illness. My partner had already discussed a mistrust of Western medicine, and decided to defer to me (within reason) when it came to any and all medical decisions.
I had an idea of the local midwife I wanted to go with. I called her office to schedule the new patient walk through to see if my partner was also comfortable with her. She had a great reputation, and offered home birth. We were on the fence about home birth because we lived in an apartment complex at the time, but she set our fears to rest. I really liked that the office wasn't set up like a traditional doctor's office. Every thing was explained ahead of time, and any questions we had were answered. Because of my irregular cycles my midwife opted for a dating ultrasound.
When I went in for the ultrasound I was 10 weeks based off my last menstrual period (LMP). The ultrasound put the baby at 7w3d. I was a little concerned that the ultrasound was not accurate, but I had no knowledge of ultrasounds or how to read them so I had to believe what I was told. Because of this my midwife visit was pushed back as she did not see clients before 10 weeks.
So as I waited another 2+ weeks for my first official check up I tried to find all the information I could on what to expect. My only experience with pregnancy had been my mother who had horrible hyperemesis gravidarium (HG) where she couldn't keep down anything other than cactus water, had premature rupture of membranes (PROM), and a stillbirth at 28-29 weeks, and a best friend who had triplets at 25w3d. Suffice to say pregnancy after the second trimester was a mystery to me. Because I have a scientific mind I wanted to know what the developing baby looked like. I came across a website called "stillbirth day" that showed pictures of babies that did not survive based on gestational age. Probably not the wisest thing to do, but it oddly gave me a sense of peace knowing that if worst came to worst my baby would still be celebrated.
Around 17w I had a migraine for about three days. I am prone to them, but they had never lasted that long. I decided to forgo seeing my midwife, and just go to the ER. At the ER they told me that based on my LMP I was 20 weeks, and that I needed to go to labor and delivery (L&D) as they were not allowed to help me. At L&D I was given an ultrasound where they said I was indeed 20w pregnant, and that other than fluids there was nothing they could do about my migraine. Looking back I'm glad I established my pregnancy there as it would come in handy later.
Fast track to 25 weeks. I had met with the midwife. My partner liked her. We did parenting classes with her. We learned about home birth, and decided we would give it a try as her birth center was not completely finished yet, although it might possibly be by my estimated due date (EDD) of 2/9/2015. In the birthing classes they discussed hypnobirthing, which I had already researched and decided I would do, and breastfeeding. As much research as I had done on pregnancy I was completely ignorant about breastfeeding. You would assume with my scientific brain I would do more research on that as well. I chose not to. I knew my midwife had staff that would help if I needed it, and left it at that. I did research into hypnobirthing, and decided to go with the Mongan method because it fit better within our budget. After having done the Hypnobabies vs hypnobirthing method I would highly recommend paying the extra for Hypnobabies.
I had a perfect pregnancy up to the second trimester, outside of that one migraine incident. I had no morning sickness. No evidence of preeclampsia, and my gestational diabetes test was perfect. I gained no weight, but my uterus was in position, and baby was growing accordingly. We had no desire to know the gender of the baby, but our friends wanted to know. I had an ultrasound at a 3D place, because I wanted to throw a reverse gender surprise party for my friends. Two of my friends were there to get the gender and photos with the plan to throw a party later. Everyone who was invited would know the gender beforehand so they could plan accordingly. Right around this time I started having issues with morning sickness. My midwife tried to assure me it wasn't "a thing", but my inability to keep anything down, and 5 lb total weight gain thus far said otherwise. I was disgruntled with her response, and felt my concerns were no longer being addressed. I complained to my partner, but tried to stay chill because I wanted a "peaceful pregnancy".
Right around 26 weeks I started having some pain in my abdomen. It was hard to describe. It was like a sharp pulling, that was a continuous ache. It coincided with pain in my vagina. It felt like the baby was trying to kick their way out. I expressed this concern with my midwife. I asked her to check me for a UTI because I had them chronically in the past. My urine test came back negative. My midwife told me it sounded like round ligament pain, get a belly binder, and call her back if I experienced cramping or any bleeding.
Looking back I'm sure she believed I had first pregnancy jitters. In medicine there is a symptom called "feeling of impeding doom". That is the only description that fits how I was feeling at that time.
Did you miss part 1? Check it out here. Stay tuned for more.