*I want to post a TRIGGER WARNING that this post, and the subsequent parts will detail infertility issues, death, preterm birth, hospital/medical bias, and other subjects that might be triggering for some. There will also be pictures of premature infants which (from personal experience) can be triggering. I will post this at the beginning of each part.*
The next morning I woke up feeling great. I had been at the hospital for almost 5 days, and it seemed like the baby was staying put. The nurse on shift was a blonde, very pregnant woman. She told me that on the weekend shift they schedule c-sections, and because of it she only had me, who was on bed rest, and one other patient who was also on bed rest. She placed me on the contraction monitor. By this point I only was getting monitored once a shift. She said so far I had been stable with no contractions. I asked her if I could have my IV removed since it looked like I would be there for the foreseeable future, and did not need it. She told me she would ask the doctor, and get back to me.
At morning rounds the doctor came in. It was the same doctor who had admitted me. She gave the nurse permission to remove my IV. She quickly left, and I was free to wait for my friends to visit. My partner was still at work, but I knew that he would be coming to see me shortly as well. My sister was still with me so we chatted a little, but basically did our own thing. Time seemed to drag by.
5 days of bedrest and still no belly
Shortly before lunch time I started feeling uneasy. Something felt off. I went to the restroom, then got back in bed. I drank some water, changed positions, and listened to music to see if I would feel better. I called the nurse on the intercom. I asked her to hook me up to the contraction monitor as I was feeling uneasy. She seemed annoyed that I asked to be monitored. When I tell you this nurse took her sweet time coming to my room I am not exaggerating. It took her about 20 mins to get to my room. Once I was hooked up she waited 30 mins, then expressed that I was not having contractions.
I tried to put my mind at ease, but I still felt off. I tried to sleep, but I still couldn't sleep. I called her again on the call light. She responded over the intercom. I told her, "Something is wrong. I don't feel good. I feel like how I felt when I first came here." She said, "The monitor showed uterine irritability, but no contractions. Maybe you just need to use the bathroom." I explained that I had already been to the restroom, and that I still felt off. She suggested I try again. Annoyed I went to the restroom.
While in the restroom I tried to pee. A small trickle came out, but nothing more. I decided to wipe, and head back to bed. When I wiped the toilet paper was covered in bright red blood. I quickly flushed, washed my hands, and got back to bed. I called the nurse on the intercom again. "I went to the restroom, and I'm bleeding," I said. "What kind of blood," she replied. Exasperated I said, "I don't know it was red blood." She told me she would talk to the doctor and get back to me.
I knew that my partner was on his way in at this point. I called him choking back tears. "Are you almost here?" He responded that he was at the light, and would be there in about 10 minutes. "When you get here can you please find the doctor? This nurse is not taking me seriously. I told her I don't feel well. She told me to use the bathroom. When I did I was bleeding. I can't get up to find the doctor on my own." Calmly he responded that he would find the doctor and "set it off" if need be. That gave me a little chuckle because my partner is usually the calm and collected one.
After I got off the phone with him the doctor entered shortly. This was about 15 mins after I had spoken with the nurse. She walked in, and told me she wanted to check me to see why I was bleeding. I laid down, and got to the edge of the bed. When she pulled her hand back it was covered in blood. "Mom, you're fully dilated now. Your bag of waters is bulging. I'm going to get the ultrasound monitor to see if baby is head down. You're going to have to have her today." She put me back in trendelenburg position and left the room.
At this point the nurse stayed at my bedside and started typing notes. "What is your pain level like right now," she asked. "Around an 8." She casually stated, "Really? You don't look like an 8." In nursing school they tell us that pain is subjective. We were told that whatever number a patient gives us we need to trust because everyone has a different tolerance. In actuality my pain around that time was closer to a 5-6, but I once was told to add 2 points to how I feel because my pain tolerance is high. Once she finished typing her notes, under her breath she stated, "I wasn't expecting to have a baby today." I don't think she meant for me to hear her, but I was so angry I replied, "Neither was I!" My bedside phone rang around that time. It was security letting me know I had visitors, and if it was ok to send them up. I told him that I was in labor, and they would have to come back another day.
The doctor entered with the bedside ultrasound machine around this time. The baby was transverse (lying sideways). She told me they would have to prep me for a c-section because if my water broke my cord could prolapse putting the baby at risk. She asked me when the last time I ate was. I told her it had been about 4 hours ago. She told me that most likely I would vomit during surgery. and to be prepared for that. She asked if my partner was on the way because they would need him to prep for the OR quickly. I called him, and he was in the process of parking the car. In the meantime an IV team was sent in to place a new IV. Because my veins were horrible for IVs on my left arm and both hands, and the IV had just been removed from my right arm, they placed the IV to the right of my elbow on the inner side of my right arm. Personal opinion that spot was decidedly more painful than an IV in my hand.
When I got to the OR they sent my partner in to prep. Partners are not allowed back when you are getting your spinal/epidural. They sent in the head anesthesia doctor who is supposed to be "the best". I have scoliosis in my lower back, and they knew placement would be difficult. I wasn't allowed to sit up for placement because of the concern with the bag of waters. They had me roll to my side to try and place the spinal. The first attempt at placement was intense. I waited for the "instant pain relief" everyone spoke about. It didn't come. "I didn't get it in the right place. I'm going to have to remove it, and try again," the doctor stated. Ok. I can do this I thought. Just deep breaths. By the fourth attempt I was in tears. This was horrible! By the fifth attempt I begged the doctor to just knock me out. I told her, "I don't care if I don't hear the baby cry." I couldn't handle this anymore. She told me that they had to do a spinal because if they put me under it could effect the baby. Finally after six attempts the pain was gone.
When they wheeled me back to the OR it was complete chaos. I don't remember how many people were there. They prepped me for surgery, and made the first incision. I immediately started vomiting. I turned my head to the side, and it felt like I was choking on it. I couldn't feel my muscles contracting. They felt like they were pushing through wet sand. I started panicking because I felt my chest getting heavy, and as if I was not getting enough oxygen despite being on oxygen via nasal cannula. The anesthesiologist told me once the baby was out she would put me under. A few minutes later I heard a tiny kitten cry, and the doctor stated the baby was out. She told me to take a quick look, but I was vomiting too much to turn my head to see. The baby was whisked away, and everything went black.
Stay tuned for the next part! Catch up on previous parts here: 1 2 3 4 5